The following resources may be useful to you. Please contact me if you have any corrections or comments. I welcome your feedback.
- The Science of Making Friends by Dr. Elizabeth Laugeson. Originally aimed at teens and young adults, this book also helps improve adult peer relationships. It’s a topic we are expected to learn at home and not formally taught in school. We’re social creatures. This book shows the way forward toward improving our social relationships.
As humans, it’s common to want to be loved and to love in return. In other words, to seek and experience romantic connection. We seek a certain combination of emotional, physical, sexual, and intellectual intimacy. I recommend the following books and resources related to romantic relationships.
- Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson. She trains other therapists in an approach called Emotionally Focused Therapy.
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman. Doctors John and Julie Gottman are researchers and train other therapists in the Gottman Method.
- Feeling Good Together by Dr. David Burns. Dr. Burns writes about the TEAM-CBT approach to improving communication in relationships.
There are many more named and unnamed methods for working with relationships. This is just a start. The ones I’ve listed above seem to be widely known and regarded among the general public and other psychotherapists.
TEAM-CBT is an approach developed by David D. Burns, MD. See his Feeling Good website for details. In addition to writing books for the general public, he trains other therapists.
Below are a couple worksheets that can be used with his books.
I recommend the following self-help books:
- Feeling Good for tools to feel more in control of your moods. This is Dr. Burns most famous self-help book on anxiety and depression.
- When Panic Attacks for tools to cope with times when you feel intense anxiety.
- Feeling Good Together for tools to cope with interpersonal relationships problems.
- Feeling Great is his newest self-help book which adds newer techniques. There may be book clubs where you can get additional support from peers and licensed professionals.
An article I liked about David Burns is Mind Over Misery by Robert Strauss.
Human problems often require varied solutions depending on the person and situation. What works for one person in a particular situation may not work for you. If you feel stuck, I encourage you to keep trying. In this section, I provide links to other approaches that may be of help to you.
First, do you have a good working relationship with you psychotherapist? Studies show the alliance you have with your therapist is a major factor in what makes therapy work.
The Milton H. Erickson Institute of the Bay Area is named after a noted psychiatrist who is known for providing creative solutions to problems.
Gaylesta is an association of psychotherapists who affirm gender and sexual diversity.
Liberation Institute provides low fee sliding scale services. (I may also have lower-fee scholarships slots. Please ask.)